she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
