Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
