That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
babies were throwing up all over the place
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
