just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I would fuck him just for his dog
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