was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Farmville is her only friend.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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