Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
