what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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