there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
