They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
did you just send me my own nude
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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