Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
