My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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