your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
