porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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