I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize