before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
