So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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