your parents love me but you hate me
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
