Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
