Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I touched a dick in church today
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
