So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Redeem this text for a blowjob
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My penis needs a shock collar
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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