hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
