I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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