Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
