she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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