It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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