I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just saw a hot homeless man
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
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