It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I am one with the molecules
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
