Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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