I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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