It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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