And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Randomize