Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
