worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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