I need help removing her.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
