Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
