i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize