no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
