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• (917): View more from New York City

  SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.

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• (435): View more from Utah

  Sex in the moonbounce later?

  (801): View more from Utah

  This is why I love you.

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• (518): View more from New York

  Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny

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• (716): View more from New York

  Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex

  (513): View more from Ohio

  STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS

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• (750): View more from

  I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE

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• (347): View more from New York

  New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt

  (858): View more from California

  Peter this is your "ex"

  (347): View more from New York

  I stand by what i said

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• (206): View more from Washington

  You did what with his pubic hair?

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player

  (1-205): View more from Alabama

  Ride him like a Zamboni

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