also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize