Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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