you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
