Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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