I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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