Buhtt sex?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize