Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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