Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize