if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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