i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
