I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
