Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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