I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
