I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
