What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
