she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Randomize