so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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