i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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