It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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