You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
