so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he was CRYING into my vagina
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
