This is not my ceiling
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
