I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Pants are for mortals
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize